This week I have studied about Alma, is son Alma the Younger and the Sons of Mosiah. The main focus that I followed was the power of repentance. That no matter how far you are from the influence of the Savior. No matter how deep you are in sin you can find your way back to His Love and be accepted back into his fold.

I have not committed any grievous sin. I have never been far from the influence of my Savior. My sins are of taking what I have for granted. Of expecting Him to take care of all my problems without any effort on my part.

I still struggle with this but I am learning to humble myself and turn to Him when I have done all that I can do.

This post is about prayer. Prayer is something I have struggled with my whole life. Daily prayer has never been something I have done on a regular basis. I set out with the best of intentions to say morning and evening prayers and it just doesn't happen. I don't know why.

Now I want to make one thing very clear. I could not live my life without  prayer. I have had to many life lessons that have taught me the power of prayer and that my Heavenly Father is there for me whenever I have needed him. I can testify that every time I have reached out to Him he has been there and answered my prayer. In my patriarchal blessing I am told to have a prayer in my heart always. I can honestly say I have learned to do that. If I did not have that communication every day I would not have survived the last couple of years.

Reading about Enos teaches us so much about prayer and how important it is to talk with our Father. Imagine how Enos felt to hear the words that his sins were forgiven. To know that because of his faith the records of his people would be preserved. The comfort he must have felt from those words. We can also have that comfort in our trials. We can have the sweet confirmation that all will be well.

I have started to talk with Him as I would if I were talking to my earthly father. My fears, my concerns, my gratitude. This has brought me closer to Him and I feel that He is my Father and I can talk to Him about anything. 

I share this testimony with you. Our Father in Heaven loves us and knows us. He wants to bless us but we must reach out to him in prayer. 

I learned a lot about Satan this week. As you read 2 Nephi 28-29 you see our day and the power he has over the world. The moral decay of our world is very pronounced and he is has dominion. The one aspect of Satan that I had never considered was that he thinks he can win. That if he can get more people to commit sin the sheer numbers will give him victory and he will be become God and have all the glory. In a talk by Elder William J. Critchlow, Jr., Assistant to the Council of the Twelve, in 1967 he brings up the wide held belief that Satan does what he does because he wants all to be miserable like himself but that it is more than that. This concept opened my eyes to a wider perspective and made Satan more real to me.

After spending time on the bad I then immersed myself in the good. To be taught again about the baptism of Jesus. To understand that even though He was perfect He was obedient to His father and set the example for us to follow. How even He needed the gift of the Holy Ghost to sustain Him and that my Father gives me this same gift. How amazing is that!

Chapters 31-33 of 2 Nephi are so powerful. I pulled out my actual paper scriptures and found that I had marked several scriptures that touched my spirit.

20 Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.

 21 And now, behold, my beloved brethren, this is the way; and there is none other way nor name given under heaven whereby man can be saved in the kingdom of God. And now, behold, this is the doctrine of Christ, and the only and true doctrine of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, which is one God, without end. Amen.

 9 But behold, I say unto you that ye must pray always, and not faint; that ye must not perform any thing unto the Lord save in the first place ye shall pray unto the Father in the name of Christ, that he will consecrate thy performance unto thee, that thy performance may be for the welfare of thy soul.

It is so plain and simple. Our Father loves us. This is His plan. If we follow it as best we can and endure we will have eternal life with him.

 

2 Nephi 10:23-25

 

23 Therefore, cheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves—to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life.

 24 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, reconcile yourselves to the will of God, and not to the will of the devil and the flesh; and remember, after ye are reconciled unto God, that it is only in and through the grace of God that ye are saved.

 25 Wherefore, may God raise you from death by the power of the resurrection, and also from everlasting death by the power of the atonement, that ye may be received into the eternal kingdom of God, that ye may praise him through grace divine. Amen. 

Our study this week was 2 Nephi 9-16 and the main theme to me was choices. From the beginning there has been opposition. The war in heaven was over our right to choose and govern ourselves.  Satan and one third of our brothers and sisters did not see the value in agency and wanted the glory when we would be forced to return to our Father. I sometimes wonder if they saw the irony in Heavenly Father allowing them this choice when they fought so hard against having that right. 

Through out time everyone has been given the agency to choose, however you are not free to choose the consequence of that choice. Heavenly Father, through his prophets, has been very clear what happens when we choose bad over good, sin over righteousness. 2 Nephi 9 Jacob states it not only in terms that we can understand, but that there is no way we can misunderstand.  

We can choose to side ourselves with the devil and be dragged down to eternal damnation or choose our Savior and have eternal life. I started this blog with the scripture that held the most import to me. 

Verse 24 is so powerful..."Reconcile yourselves to the will of God, and not to the will of the devil and the flesh; and remember, after ye are reconciled unto God, that it is only in and through the grace of God that ye are saved."

In the choices we make everyday, whether large or small, are we reconciling ourselves to God? Are we making the decision to forgo the temptations of the flesh? We must choose everyday whom we will serve. When we have done all we can do it is only by His grace that we are saved.

This week as been interesting. You go through life with a perception you have of yourself and even though people tell you you are wrong it sticks. "If you knew the real me you would know I was right!" attitude. I have always felt not able to "expand my capabilities". My family and friends have always told me I was wrong but I knew better, after all I know me, right!

Wrong...this week I have gained the knowledge that I am teachable and capable to do anything I set my mind to. But only if I put my trust and faith in my Savior.  I am a Child of God and all things are possible. Here are some of the things I have learned...be teachable, God is great and I am small, be humble...Attitude, I can learn all that God would have me learn...Knowledge is eternal, what ever we learn will go with us...By being obedient and living a clean life the Holy Ghost can lead you where you are supposed to go and put people in your life that you need..."Do what they think you can't do" and my take "Do what you think you can't do".

I love the 3 keys and plan on putting it where I can see it everyday
     1. There is no limit to your potential
     2. Childlike humility is key to success
     3. A clean life will allow the Holy Ghost to confirm and expand your learning.

I also love going to the Gathering. To be able to talk about feeling the spirit while learning and having those around me agree and be like "I know isn't it great!" One of the sisters said last night that this is like the very best book club. We get to study the Book of Mormon and then talk about it with everyone and get their views and inspirations.

So I AM learning and expanding and excited about all that I can accomplish. I need to get a deep understanding make it a part of me because next semester is Math!

New beginnings

I have started a new chapter in my life. Going back to school is going to be one of the hardest things I have ever done. As I have started studying the book of Mormon I am realizing how much I have taken it for granted and not really had a strong testimony of this amazing book.

Already I can feel the spirit of the Lord touching my life through the Scriptures, through my fellow classmates and in so many ways. One thing that has surprised me is that I don't turn the TV on until later in the afternoon and then it is just loud noise. Since I have always been a TV addict and had had it on all the time this is something quite new and different to me. I find I like the quiet and being able to think about those things that I have learned and make them a part of me and not just part of an assignment.

I have such a testimony of my Savior. I have felt his arms around me and know that he loves me.