About a year and a half ago I was given a marvelous blessing. Peace and understanding. I was taught that the depression I was going through was being used by Lucifer to draw me away from the light of the Savior. I was taught to pray and pray always. To rely on the Lord, that He knows and loves me.

In the last few months I let this blessing slide away from me. When I started Pathway I was so excited to be studying the Book of Mormon. I felt the spirit and was taught so much. Now I have felt like I am just going through the motions. I read the scriptures and understand them but have not had the excitement and joy I did before. Once again I was trying to figure out what was going on by myself.

I sat down to get the assignments done for class and the first thing I did was Digging Deeper. The Lord is so amazing. Every talk and video was chosen for me. To teach me once again that I need the Savior. The talks by the apostles touched my heart and started the process. My spirit was softened and I was ready to hear the messages. Elder Holland's testimony of the Book of Mormon was powerful. It reaffirmed my testimony of the truthfulness of this amazing work of scripture. Then I watched the videos of Mountains to Climb and the Power of Prayer. Mountains to Climb was me. Struggling with sadness and not feeling spiritual at all.  It helped me see that I was not turning to the Lord. It brought me to my knees and to once again know that my Savior lives and forgives.

 I truly do know the power of prayer. I have felt it change my life and once again it has helped me to overcome feelings of frustration and incompetence. When you seek earnestly to align your will with the Father's the blessings come. And the hardships, as Lucifer will work harder to pull you away. It is amazing how cunning he is. How he does know our weaknesses and will use them to pull us down. Everyone needs the power of prayer to live in the world we live in. I kept forgetting that but now I know that I cannot, will not, let praying to my Father become something that is a trivial and can be put aside until a better time.

I am so very grateful for my Savior. For the love He has for me. That even when I am far from Him He reaches out and blesses me and teaches me.

I bear this testimony. God lives. His Only Begotten Son lives. They love us. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is true. The Book of Mormon is true and only by abiding by it's teachings can we return once again to our Heavenly Father.
I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

I would love to be able to say that I have learned so much from the scriptures and gained insight into how to become a better disciple this week. I can't. What I  have learned is to be careful what you wish for.
For years I have wanted to serve on a jury. This past week I got my wish. I now wish I  had used any excuse to get out of it.
I was put on a jury to decide if a man who had been convicted of violent sexual behavior had a behavior abnormality. I listened to two days of expert testimony of the two acts this man committed over 25 years ago and if he understood what he did and would not repeat it. It was not a pleasant experience. It had to be an unanimous verdict.
After the trial where we decided that yes he did have a behavior abnormality, we found out he was due to be released and would now go to a residential treatment facility.
I know that a lot of people would say that I missed a chance to read the scriptures and deal with it in a way that I would be able to gain spiritual support. I am sorry all I wanted to do was come home hug my husband and not think about anything.
So I apologize that I don't have any great insights to share.

I must confess that I have put off writing my blog for this assignment. We are to post what we have learned and share that with others. What I have learned this week is that my Heavenly Father loves me and that Jesus Christ died for me. I have always known this and have a strong testimony and a knowledge but this week I really needed to have reminder. 

As part of our Gathering our teacher had a student read from 3 Nephi when the Savior came to visit the righteous in the Americas after his resurrection. What made it amazing was that she had us close our eyes and picture us being a part of that visitation. Each one of us had tears in our eyes when Mike finished reading. I felt that I was there and touched the wounds in his hands and in his side. It renewed my spirit and brought home the fact that Jesus Christ is MY Savior. 

One of my favorite hymns is "I Stand All Amazed". The second verse always hits home to me. "I marvel that he would descend from his throne divine, to rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine." I always feel that is me, and I am so grateful that He made that sacrifice so that I can return to my heavenly home, if I make the right decisions. 

I am grateful for the Pathway program that is helping me to stay grounded in the gospel and also helping me to be able to study the scriptures and learn what I need to learn. 

What I have been thinking about the last couple of weeks is where do I stand as a daughter of God. I have been reading in Helaman in the Book of Mormon how in just a few years the people would go from being righteous to contentious. From praising God to saying there is no God. How do I not follow their example.
Growing up I never considered myself a spiritual person. I loved the Lord and I knew the Church was true, but I never had the burning desire to put a lot of effort into studying the scriptures or even spending a lot of time in prayer. So how did I remain faithful when other members of my family did not?
This is question I ask myself all the time. I still don't know all the answers but I do know that life has taught me hard lessons and not once did I turn from the Lord or His teachings. It is just not my nature.
I read about the those that turn from the Lord in the scriptures, especially in Helaman, and feel that they had been compelled to be humble and it just didn't change who they were at the core.  They acknowledged Christ, they did what they were asked to do and the Lord felt they were sincere enough to bless them. But it did not take long for them to become prideful and turn away once again. I wrote once before about Laman and Lemuel and how when faced with adversity they had not sunk their spiritual roots deep and when adversity came they were quick to contention and rebellion. I see the same things with the people of Helaman's time. There were some that did take the gospel to heart. That went through a change of heart and were a righteous people. They were the minority. The better part of the people had not sunk their roots deep and were quick to return to their previous lives.
So how deep are my roots? I am hopeful that they are very deep but I also know that I must do more to become closer to my Heavenly Father and His Son. As I study the scriptures I am gaining a better understanding of the gospel. As I read conference talks I gain a better understanding of what the Lord wants me to know today. As I pray more I gain the spirit to guide me through my day and help me to overcome the obstacles I face.
I am learning to work each day at becoming a better daughter of God.

I learned a lesson during my life. I lesson I took to heart especially while I was raising my children...never pray for patience.  The Lord does have a sense of humor and loves to see how we will react to situations while we strive for patience.

Over the last couple of weeks I have been working on having patience with myself and have found that, while I have had success in some areas, circumstances have stretched my capabilities to the limit at times.

Reading in Alma about the wars and contentions between the Nephites and Lamanites for so many years I think that Moroni has a lot to teach about patience. And we have the example of what happens when he loses his patience.

When planning his strategies he was always so careful to assess the situation. To send spies to see where the enemy was located and their strengths. He would determine what would work best to win the battle and to rely on the inspiration of the Lord to guide him. He never rushed in and put his men at risk when he didn't have to.

He also would take the time to fortify his cities and towns. To build up protection and strengthen the weak spots.

So you may be asking what have I learned from Moroni? I have learned to pay attention. To know the enemy. What is Satan doing in my life to hinder me. What is my strategy to overcome temptations that will come my way. What are my weaknesses and how can I shore them up.  I have learned that I  need to fortify my home against the influences of the world.

Moroni established the title of Liberty and was valiant  in defending his people from the Lamanites and the evil of the world.  I need to follow his example and defend my home and family.I need to shore up my home against the power of Satan and his followers. Sign in to bookmark pages, high

Freedom of Speech

As I was studying Korihor I was struck by the fact that he was able to preach his viewpoint and no one could stop him. Several times it is mentioned that, even though they wanted to, they could not arrest him for speaking his beliefs even though they were not true, correct or in agreement with the teachings of the prophets. 

7 Now there was no law against a man’s belief; for it was strictly contrary to the commands of God that there should be a law which should bring men on to unequal grounds.

 8 For thus saith the scripture: Choose ye this day, whom ye will serve.                                                                               
9 Now if a man desired to serve God, it was his privilege; or rather, if he believed in God it was his privilege to serve him; but if he did not believe in him there was no law to punish him.                                                                       
10 But if he murdered he was punished unto death; and if he robbed he was also punished; and if he stole he was also punished; and if he committed adultery he was also punished; yea, for all this wickedness they were punished.                     11 For there was a law that men should be judged according to their crimes. Nevertheless, there was no law against a man’s belief; therefore, a man was punished only for the crimes which he had done; therefore all men were on equal grounds. Alma 30:7-11

Freedom of speech was not something thought of by the founding fathers. It is an eternal privilege. It goes along with our freedom to choose whom we will serve. 

As I look around the world we live in I see that this freedom has come under attack. Unless you agree with the "popular" viewpoints you are shouted down and, in some cases, harmed for what you believe. What is ironic to me is that they use this very same freedom to deny others the same right. 

It is going to be interesting to see how this freedom is abused as time goes by. 

My other thought on Korihor is that he was never punished for speaking out. He was never put in prison nor did he have to answer to the legal system of the time. His judgement came from God when he pushed it just a little to far.  Alma lays it all out for him...either repent and stop or you will be struck dumb by the power of God. Still Korihor persists, "I do not deny the existence of God, but I do not believe that there is a God...except ye show me a sign, I will not believe."   God follows through and strikes him dumb. Then he is quick to say...Oh I'm sorry and please remove this curse. But God knew his heart and that he had not truly repented. He got what he wanted, a sign. 

Do we sometimes look for signs as proof that our Heavenly Father is there and listening? When going through trail do we ask for it to be lifted with the provision that we will then know, for a surety, that God loves us?  We may not be hardhearted to the extent Korihor was but we also need to be aware of the little and not so little ways we are influenced by the power of Lucifer.